My friend Eurydike, a clairvoyant and a self~confessed female chauvinist confided to me about her encounter with a couple of vicious jerks who unfortunately she had a brief affair with. This journal entry is not advisable for people with no sense of irony.




Vicious Jerk number one: Orkhomenos~ He may look suspiciously like Johnny Depp but any woman would scream "PASS THE BARF BAG!!" once they get a dose of his narcissistic attitude. A high school drop-out, his pre-occupations include getting intoxicated on weekends and playing in a pathetic rap metal band. Orkhomenos is now married to an unattractive woman and is trapped in hamburger joint-convenient store type of jobs.


Vicious Jerk number two: Narkissos~He is one of those bad things that happen to good people. According to Eurydike, Narkissos is terribly good looking, fairly intelligent and very hilarious (he is especially hilarious every time he congratulates and glorifies himself). Eurydike confided to me how she used to nervously wait for Jesus to materialize before Narkissos and her while they are doing lunch and witness Jesus jam a fork into Narkissos' aorta. But I told Eurydike that she need not hear Narkissos sing Bob Marley's "Waiting in Vain" in Latin or have him perform projectile vomiting for her to proclaim him the anti-Christ. He displayed evilness by tormenting her with his devious ways and that is enough (Eurydike succumbed to a nervous breakdown after her break-up with Narkissos. Funny, I thought she was born that way).



"Dear egotist boy you've never really had to suffer any consequence/You've never stayed with anyone longer than ten minutes/You'd never understand anyone showing resistance/Dear popular boy I know you're used to getting everything so easily/A stranger to the concept of reciprocity/People honor boys like you in this society"


~Narcissus
Alanis Morissette