Coffee shops in Manila have been turning up like frog stools and spreading throughout the metropolis faster than one can say 'coffee in a copper coffee cup'.

In this cause, I asked a friend, "Is there a growing number of intellectuals in the Philippines?". He asked me why and I responded, "Because of the coffee shops that have been popping out everywhere lately."

Case in point: In The Block, North Avenue, there is a row of coffee shops located by the Hypermart. These coffee shops are Seattle's Best, UCC Japanese Coffee and Go Nuts. Technically, Go Nuts is a doughnut shop. However, the 'intellectuals' come there to lounge and dip their glazed diabetes doughs in capuccino and read the day's paper over cups of overpriced Nescafe.

Fine. People go gaga over coffee shops because of the ambiance. They like tapping fingers to the beat of Milton Banana Bossa Nova. Perhaps some find caffeine intoxication calming. Whatever and ever amen.

I was at Starbucks with Zoo three Saturdays ago. I insisted on having an in-the-house tap water served in Starbucks' little posh paper cup and Zoo had espresso. I observed the twenty somethings and the Brent co-eds in their faux Pradas. I expected to hear a bull session on Plath's obsession over death and rebirth or at least the connection of existentialism with Spear Britney's recent well-publicized emotional breakdown.

Nothing. Nada. Zero. Zippo.

Instead, the suckers for the Starbucks corporate whore coffee were discussing their recent one night rendevouz with some stewed boozehound while the popularly supposed upwordly mobile twenty somethings were updating each other on missed Princess Hours episodes.

Yawn.

Let us face it, label whores: The Republic of the P.I. is facing severe economic crisis. Starbucks is nothing but a slap of mockery to this economically-challenged little nation.

Sure Starbucks serves delicious coffee made from the best godforsaken coffee beans harvested from some faraway Brazilian coffee farm. Sure Seattle's Best employs people with toothpaste commercial grin just so you won't lose a lunch. Blah blah. But do you really have to shell out so much for a caffeine fix?

All right, some would argue "I have the money to satisfy a Starbucks craving." Sure. Here's a Marie Antoinette button you can wear around town.

Maybe I am just being the bitter anti-positive that I have always been.

I am bad.